Hooples

About 23 years ago I met a group of friends who changed my life forever. To this day, we are still friends, we're still there for each other and nothing makes me happier.

According to Urban Dictionary, a "hoople" is defined as either a lazy character who prefers to work as little as possible, earning money on the side by running every scam going; he's also a gambler, but not a very good one or a person who drinks alcohol to excess to the point where it becomes his or her defining characteristic.

This was so us. Well maybe not the scam part, but we did drink often (we were in college) and we were pretty lazy (we skipped class a lot to play fooseball) and we sort of gambled back in the day on Rummy 500 and I don't think we were very good (some of the boys still play the cards, but they've graduated to poker and I'm pretty sure they still suck).

I'm not sure what brought us all together. Most of the boys went to high school together, so they already knew each other. A love of fooseball, music and desire not to go to class probably cemented our relationship.

I was the one of only two girls who could hang with the boys. Celeste was the other one. Other girls came and went, but Celeste and I have been able to hang for almost 25 years. These are the people that taught me how to play fooseball, pool, and quarters. Of course before they taught me how to play quarters, they had to get me to drink beer - which they did - at Rack 'Em - the scariest pool hall you could ever imagine (but the most fun ever).

Some of the guys were in a band. Every Saturday night, we'd go to the "Warehouse" where Midnight Liar would practice. After they finished, the rest of us would sing whatever songs were popular at the time (Bon Jovi, Warrant, Winger, Whitesnake). Sadly, the poor man at the convenience store was riddled on these Saturday nights with lines from "Raising Arizona" as we made our beer run. A favorite was "I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got." I'm sure he appreciated it. It was like something you might see in a movie. No one believes that you do these things in real life, but we did.

We each had a nickname or more than one. There was Fishbait, Murky, Mule, Factor, Berg, and Cackman (and some others that I can't say here). We still call each other by those names today. All names were given out of love and I don't think any of us ever had hurt feelings because of them.

23 years later, most of us are still friends. Some of us have had fallings out, but we usually end up back together, eventually. We have celebrated weddings and babies and mourned the deaths of parents together. We don't drink as much as we used to (we are getting older). I can't imagine any of us letting our kids go to a place like Rack 'Em. But those were some of the best times of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Just One of the Guys

In college, I always hung out with the guys (and Celeste). They were so much fun! We would play fooseball, drink beer, eat wings, talk about unimportant stuff . . . it was great. There was never any drama. The guys made fun of each other, said what needed to said and had each other's backs, no matter what. It was the best time of my life.





Tonight, I went out to meet some friends at a bar and for about two hours I was the only girl there. It took me back about 20 years and it was great! There was no pressure to impress, no flirting, just guy sillliness.





Don't get me wrong - I love my girlfriends, but still after all these years, I find that I am still "just one of the guys."

Say Goodbye to Hollywood

Six years ago, I began the biggest undertaking of my life. I left my secure, comfortable world in Hollywood, Florida and moved to Dallas, Texas. I knew exactly five people here - my great friends Joe and Sarah, their children (who were a year old at the time) and my ex-boyfriend who I only spoke to occassionally.


For those who knew me a long time, this seemed like an impossible idea. I am the child that moved from Philadelphia at age 10 and couldn't wait to get back after high school (I never went back to live but still love to visit). I am the only one of the four of us who didn't really go away for college (there's that one semester at USF, but I only lasted one because I missed Hollywood too much). I lived with my parents until I was 31 (although that was primarily for financial reasons). So it would stand to reason that I would live and die right there in good old Hollywood, Florida. Teaching school, working part time at the Y and visiting Rickey's on a regular basis.


Life had other plans for me.


From the first time I came to Dallas for Sarah's Oscar party in 2002, I felt like I belonged. That feeling only increased with every visit. So in September 2004, I asked my 3 month old Goddaughter if I should move to Dallas and she said "Yeah" (have I ever mentioned that she's brilliant?). The wheels were then put into motion. I decided that if I got a job, I'd come for a year, if I liked it I'd stay, if I hated it, I'd go back to Hollywood after a year. Guess which one won out?



I hate saying goodbye to people. The night before I left, I cried like nobody's business as I said goodbye to Alison and Jennifer (they laughed at me). I cried when I pulled out of the garage in my '97 Honda Civic with a car full of crap after saying goodbye to my sisters. But next to me was a new Boo Bear for my Godson and I knew I was making the best decision of my life.

Billy Joel has a great song called "Say Goodbye to Hollywood." Every time I hear it I think about Hollywood, Florida (it's really about that other Hollywood). And the following lines are so true for me:

"Moving on is a chance you take everytime you try to stay together,

Say a word out line and you find the friends you had are gone -

Forever . . . forever

So many faces in and out of my life

Some will last, some will be just now and then

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes

I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again."

I am so lucky to still have my wonderful Hollywood friends. And I'm just as lucky to have wonderful friends here in Dallas. Thank you to those of you in Hollywood (and the vicinity) that supported me six years ago when I moved and always welcome me back with open arms when I visit. And thank you to those of you in Dallas who do the same.

It's been a great six years.

I Love It/I Love It Not

I'm in a love/hate relationship (again) and it's tearing me apart.

Some days I love Facebook. Some days I hate Facebook.

Facebook is a great invention! How many of us have reconnected with old friends through Facebook? I helped to organize two reunions with groups of college friends and other fun events through the beauty of Facebook. I keep up with so many of my former students using it. I have become reacquainted with cousins - some that I haven't seen since 1980. I can see pictures of my friends, their kids, and find out all of their latest news. I can visit with Charlie and Fred whenever I want because they're still there too.

My friend Lorraine harrasses me on a regular basis to the point that I laugh myself silly. Without Facebook I never would have been able to help my former student Victor when he was in Dallas and needed a ride to the airport - heck I wouldn't have even known he was in Dallas. I enjoy sharing family news with my dad since "no one ever tells" him anything. I now share the silly musings of this blog because I "share" it on Facebook. I play about four rounds of Scrabble every day with my friend Larry in Florida.

And then there is the goofy side that I get share (and have missed). If you don't know what I'm talking about check out my photo album "Tastykake Art." If this teaching thing doesn't work out, I think I could be to Tastykake what Andy Warhol was to Campbells Soup!

Tonight in a magazine I read that a recent study at Kent State University found that "presenting yourself positively on the side (such as through status updates or photo albums) increases well-being and self-worth . . ." So Facebook must be a good thing right?

Facebook is soooooo much fun!!!!!!!!

Facebook is the bane of my existence. As Betty White said "Facebook is a huge waste of time." I've been done with school for over a week, by now I was supposed to have cleaned out the closets, scrubbed the floors, cleaned out the refrigerator, worked out regularly, and read lots of books. Eleven days after school has let out I have yet to clean out the closets, scrub the floors, or clean out the refrigerator (I have worked out, but I have the Facebook app on my IPhone which I take with me so I can listen to music, so . . . ) and I've finished one book that I was reading before school got out.

More times than not, I have felt slighted because I was left out of something and then found out about it on Facebook. And honesty, I could do without the comments people have made about some of the bad decisions I made in college (I think most of those have been removed - breathing heavy sigh of relief here). There are the junior high pictures when I was in my awkward stage (please don't go looking for them) that even I never wanted to see again which someone else posted.

Today in the "People You May Know" box a guy popped up that I met 10 years ago at a wedding in Texas (four years before I thought about moving to Texas!). He and his wife were nice people. I met them one other time after that . At some point I heard through our mutual friends that they had gotten divorced. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The wife and I became "friends" (acquaintances) on FB. Turns out now that all of my "new" Dallas friends (not just FB friends but truly friends that I go out with) are "friending" the husband, so in Facebook logic I must know him too.

This got me thinking. What if you had a really bad divorce, breakup, whatever? What happens to the Facebook friends? Do you stay friends? Does they become part of the settlement?

Anyway, I am going to make a solemn promise to myself right here and now. Tomorrow I will not get on Facebook at all until AFTER I accomplish one of the summer To Do tasks. I'll begin one as soon as I get done with my workout. ; )

Rising Up

Hello all 6 of my readers - haha! Which one of you is a dream analyzer? (Actually I know which one is and I look forward to your comments).

Last night (this morning if you want to be technical about it), I had a dream that I was on my way home from school (I was in school) and had a decision about which way to get there. I chose to go on the train, even though I was alone and unsure. As soon as I got on the train, a man came up to me and picked me up by the shirt with one hand and raised me up. High up, above him, above everyone else on the train. I was petrified because this guy scared me. It seemed to me that the other people on the train were scared of him too, but no one did anything to stop him. He put me down almost as fast as he picked me up though. I went to my seat where I was not bothered again, but comforted by a friend I haven't seen in a while (for those in the know Cackman - go figure).

I awoke from that dream to start my day, but I've wondered about it all day long. What did mean? Was this person trying to scare me? Is there someone out there who does scare me? Why did he let me go? Why was Cackman comforting me?

After much thought, this is what I think I got from it (but would love to hear from you too). These past six months have been a huge time of change for me. Relationships have changed, some have ended completely, some have grown out of a comfort of loss, there's been death, new relationships, a rediscovery of my religion, lots of things.

Last night I watched as my beloved Miami Heat lost the NBA Championship to the Dallas Mavericks. Those who know me know that I have been a Heat fan for years - going to games since the '88-'89 opening season with Rony Seikaly, Jon Sunvold and Ron Rothstein, had season tickets for a number of years, met Tim Hardaway (twice) and had a crush on 12th man off the bench Marty Conlon. Well last night as the Heat lost, I heard the taunts from many a Mavericks fan (and some who were not).

To me the rivalary was fun. It's just a game after all, the results of which weren't going to change my life. However, I felt like some of the remarks were just down right mean. I began to take what people were saying to me seriously. After a weekend that included other disappointments which I had no control over, these remarks would have put me over the edge. They would have added to the disappointment of being let down and maybe sent me reeling.

I am proud to say that they didn't. I think that's what my dream was about. I think it was God lifting me up as if to say "look how far you've come." Reminding me that I can rise above my disappointments on this crazy train of a life.

Music from Heaven

This weekend I made the trip to Winter Haven Florida to remember my best friend. What a memorial it was!!!!! There were a lot of laughs and lots of tears, but the one thing that was the most prevalent was love and music.





How lucky each of us were that were to be loved by one person so much. And how lucky are each of us to have a part of that love within us. My hope is that we all learn from that love and use it well. How lucky for us too that we have all been reminded of that love in these difficult days.




I said a few months ago that Charlie would go from being my George Bailey to being my Clarence. I don't know how many of us actually believe in angels, an afterlife in Heaven, etc. I always have, but my belief system has been strongly reinforced after the last few days.




It started well before I left Dallas for Texas, but on the plane, I was having a moment and my eyes began to well with tears. My ITunes changed songs to "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross. I laughed out loud remembering the last conversation Charlie and I had - when he was only awake about an hour a day - and the never ending joke that we have shared for the past 20 years. I was so close to Heaven in that plane and I know that Charlie put that song on to let me know that he was okay and that he is still with me in spirit.

As the weekend went on, others shared stories about a song they heard that reminded them of Charlie, only to change the song to hear another one. Each one started with tears and ended with laughter. That's what Charlie would have wanted. He would have wanted us to laugh, and so we did (usually while crying at the same time).

At the end of his tree planting service, a few of us stood in front of the magnolia tree planted in Charlie's honor and took a picture. How surprising to see that he showed up there too - to let us all know that he's still here!


I love you my friend and I miss you more than you will ever know.

My Best Friend

I lost my best friend today. I fear going to sleep because I don't want to dream about him. I am being selfish and I always want him to be here with me. In some ways, it's like he is but it still sucks!!!!!!!!!!

Make sure you cherish each moment you have with those you love. You never know when they'll be taken away, and even when you know it's coming, it's still a blow.

I love you Charlie, thank you for always being there for me.

It's a Wonderful Life

As I've said here before, I told my friend Charlie that he was my own personal George Bailey because my life (and I have since come to find out many others) wouldn't be what it is if I hadn't met him some 20+ years ago.

The other day though, I was walking back from the pool (where I was working on my base tan over spring break - haha!) when I had an epiphany - my life is pretty damn wonderful! And I have spent too many years not thinking that.

I have a family that loves me, great friends, a job, a place to live, good food to eat, and I'm healthy - just to name a few things. Where do I have room to complain? Granted, some things don't turn out the way I want them to. Some things have most definitely not gone the way I wanted, but really, what the heck do I have to complain about? Seriously!

So in the upcoming weeks, months, years - when things don't go my way, I'm going to remember just how wonderful I have it! I know that will put everything into perspective.

My Funny Valentine

I decided back at the beginning of January that this year I was going to be my own Valentine. I was done waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep me off of my feet and take me to some expensive restraurant for dinner. I wasn't going to wait for pink roses or chocolate. I was going to be my own Valentine.

I think I'm definitely My (Own) Funny Valentine. Mainly because I went through with this goofy idea. And honestly, my figure is less than Greek (all those female Greek statues have tiny hips and feet). Plus most of the time when I say something it comes out wrong. It really does, ask me I can give you plenty of examples. Here are the lyrics I'm referring to.

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak

When you open your mouth to speak

Are you smart?

Last week I got an email from Cooking Light magazine with the subject line "Romantic Dinners for Two." Normally I would delete this right away, I didn't want another reminder of a lonely Valentine's Day. But not this year because I resolved to be my own (funny) Valentine!

The gods must have been smiling on me because the very first recipe was Scallops on Linguini!

Perfect! My two favorite things - scallops and pasta!

I went to the grocery store yesterday and got most of the ingredients. On the way home from work today I stopped at Whole Foods for the scallops and some French wine. Then came home to begin on my romantic dinner for two.

While the scallops were searing, I lit the candles in my Waterford Crystal candleholders, poured a glass of French red and set the table for one. I served myself and then sat down to eat with classical music playing in the background.

It was delicious! I even forgot to mix in the ginger and shallots (they were in a reserve bowl - oops). I did think to myself in the middle of my meal (at least I didn't talk to myself), that the ginger and shallots really added something to the meal! (Refer back to the lyrics that say are you smart).

I don't think I could have gotten a better dinner if I had gone out. Unless George Clooney had knocked on the door. Then those scallops would have been tossed to the wayside faster you can say "George Clooney".

Was it a goofy idea? Maybe to some. I did laugh my way through most of it - sitting by myself in candlelight. But now I can say that I have had a candlelit dinner for two (I've saved half for lunch tomorrow - my apologies now to the WE staff if it smells fishy) with romantic music playing in the background.

Erma Bombeck (I think) said to never wait until "someday" because someday may never come. Maybe I'm learning that lesson in a very hard and painful way, but I'm so glad that I'm learning.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's a Wonderful Life

It's a Wonderful Life is my favorite movie. It reminds me of how important family and friends are in our life. It reminds me that we each have a guardian angel looking out for us, reminding us of just how wonderful our life really is.


We all have a "George Bailey." That one person who makes our life complete. The one person we who helped make us into the person we are. We all have a Clarence too. An angel that watches out for us and helps to see just how wonderful we are.

My George is about to become my Clarence. I'm inconsolable about it.

I have been fortunate enough to call Charlie Lyle my best friend for more than 20 years. Who'd have thought that day I walked into the Broward Community College South Campus Student Life Office that my life would be altered forever. Never have I had a bigger cheerleader, encourager, supporter, and playmate.


Memories have been flooding back the past few days: our stupid Fashion Center game where we tried to out store name each other; the only shouting match we ever had in the parking lot of the Rustic Inn; watching Leon Lett slide through the snow; "It's like being home in the trailer park"; his months in Umatilla; his little white Escort; the truck that talked; the laughter ; when he held my hand when I was in more pain than I thought I could bear.

Who's going to hold my hand through this? I don't know what I'm going to do without my best friend.

Oh I know he'll be here. He's going to be my Clarence. He's still going to laugh at me when I do something stupid, he's going to whisper words of confidence in my ear when I don't believe in myself. He'll be there every morning when I wake up, every night when I go to bed and every second in between.

My loss is nothing compared to his family's loss. He's going to be a very busy Clarence. There's a lot of us he's got to look out for. I know he'll get it done. He gets everything done. He's never let anyone down.

Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. "George" you got yours a long time ago. I love you.

Girlfriends are the Best!!!!

For years I was "just one of the guys." I spent the best part of my college years playing fooseball and pool and drinking beer with the guys. Those were the best years of my life.

Tonight though I am thankful for my girlfriends. It was a sucky day. Things didn't go the way I planned and I was mad about that. Unfortunately for my friend Laura, she called right in the middle of my personal stewing and was dealt the brunt of my frustration (it had nothing to do with her).

Even though I was not on my planned schedule I did follow through with one of my plans and went to the gym. After a great workout, I called Laura and apologized for lashing out at her. She's so good, because she said "Oh I didn't think you did that at all." We then talked for thirty more minutes about "stuff" and realized that we're really pretty normal.

After eating dinner, I saw some interesting information on Facebook. I knew I had to call my friend Deanna to confirm what I read. (Deanna and I worked together for two years, and she's one of the best teachers I know.) I talked and laughed with her for half an hour too, as she shared insights about her "normal" family and the invention of the "cup," among other things.

Then my friend Pam called from Colorado. We had a great time gossiping and solving "the world's" problems. If we ran the world, everything would be A-okay! But we really don't want to run the world we're just happy being cogs in the machine.

It is because of these three friends that my day has done a complete 180. I am so thankful that I have them and others who will listen to me bitch, laugh with me and tell me where the best pizza in the world is. I love my guy friends, but they would have been done the minute I started bitching and would never have lasted 30 minutes on the phone.

Now girls - who wants to play fooseball?

Thumbs Up

Happy 2011!!!!

I've got a notebook called "100 Things to Do in My Life" - it has 61 things in it, but that's okay because I can still add to it.

Number 19 is "Host Fabulous Parties." I've put this off for some time because I live in an apartment and thought it would be too small for a fabulous party. But if I learned anything in 2011 it's that life it too short, so I decided to have a small fabulous party. I'd make pulled pork, baked beans, macaroni and cheese and cola cake! I was so excited!!!

I got up early on New Year's Eve, went shopping and cleaned most of the day. Yesterdy (New Year's Day), I got up early to put the finishing touches on the party set up. I had a timeline all mapped out in my head. 12:00 the pork was going in the oven. Well, the best laid plans . . .

I had to run to the store for more paprika for the rub, so I was off to a late start. It was fine though, because I knew this would be good pork!!!! I got the rub mixed, got the cutting board out, started cutting the fat off and sliced right across my thumb!!!!!

So many people told me it was a horrible way to start my year, but all I could do was laugh! Rub and blood!!!! I did manage to get the rub on the pork and the pork in the oven. And I am very thankful for my friend Patrica who came over to sit with the pork and straighten up while I was at Primacare.

In the end, things turned out fabulously!!!! And if this is the worst thing that happens to my in 2011 then it will be a great year!!!!

So Thumbs Up to 2011!!!!!