A Perfect Life

My life is perfect. I may not have everything that I want, but I have everything that I need. I have a family that loves me. I have the best friends that anyone could ever ask for. I don’t
know how I could ever be so lucky. What did I do to deserve all of this?

Sure there are many things that I wish I had that I don’t have and probably never will. Not all of it is material either. I wish I had had a child. It’s probably the biggest disappointment in my
life. It’s the one thing that I always wanted to do, and the one thing that I will never do. Well, more than likely never do. And it’s the one thing that people don’t talk about. Single, childless women – who wanted children – never talk about that disappointment. It’s like a taboo subject. How comforting would it be if we did talk about it to each other? At least then we wouldn’t feel so alone.

I really don’t spend a lot of time thinking about not having had a child. It’s a pointless thing. It’s like being upset because I never got Barbie’s Dream House (I really wanted one, but
had to settle for Barbie’s Townhouse instead). I focus on the kids I do have. My most precious Godchildren who I couldn’t love more if had bore them myself. The 500+ kids I have
taught. I am amazed at what they have become and at what they are doing. It warms my heart to know that I have had a part, however small, in the person they have become.

I just wish society didn’t make it feel so bad to be single and childless. I once had a friend, who is married with children, ask me “If you don’t get married, and have kids, who’s going to take care of you when you get old?” Every once in a while that question rears itself in the back of my mind. Who will take care of me? Am I supposed to call my 80 year old friends to come help me when “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”?

I don’t advertise my faith a lot. I believe everyone has a right to their beliefs. For that reason, I don’t bring religion into a lot of discussions. For this, I feel I need to. It’s
really the only thing that helps me to accept the life that I have (which is wonderful). I believe that God has given me exactly what I need. I don’t always understand it or like it, but I accept it. This is the life I am supposed to have. Someday I’ll know why . . .