My Best Friend

I lost my best friend today. I fear going to sleep because I don't want to dream about him. I am being selfish and I always want him to be here with me. In some ways, it's like he is but it still sucks!!!!!!!!!!

Make sure you cherish each moment you have with those you love. You never know when they'll be taken away, and even when you know it's coming, it's still a blow.

I love you Charlie, thank you for always being there for me.

It's a Wonderful Life

As I've said here before, I told my friend Charlie that he was my own personal George Bailey because my life (and I have since come to find out many others) wouldn't be what it is if I hadn't met him some 20+ years ago.

The other day though, I was walking back from the pool (where I was working on my base tan over spring break - haha!) when I had an epiphany - my life is pretty damn wonderful! And I have spent too many years not thinking that.

I have a family that loves me, great friends, a job, a place to live, good food to eat, and I'm healthy - just to name a few things. Where do I have room to complain? Granted, some things don't turn out the way I want them to. Some things have most definitely not gone the way I wanted, but really, what the heck do I have to complain about? Seriously!

So in the upcoming weeks, months, years - when things don't go my way, I'm going to remember just how wonderful I have it! I know that will put everything into perspective.

My Funny Valentine

I decided back at the beginning of January that this year I was going to be my own Valentine. I was done waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep me off of my feet and take me to some expensive restraurant for dinner. I wasn't going to wait for pink roses or chocolate. I was going to be my own Valentine.

I think I'm definitely My (Own) Funny Valentine. Mainly because I went through with this goofy idea. And honestly, my figure is less than Greek (all those female Greek statues have tiny hips and feet). Plus most of the time when I say something it comes out wrong. It really does, ask me I can give you plenty of examples. Here are the lyrics I'm referring to.

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak

When you open your mouth to speak

Are you smart?

Last week I got an email from Cooking Light magazine with the subject line "Romantic Dinners for Two." Normally I would delete this right away, I didn't want another reminder of a lonely Valentine's Day. But not this year because I resolved to be my own (funny) Valentine!

The gods must have been smiling on me because the very first recipe was Scallops on Linguini!

Perfect! My two favorite things - scallops and pasta!

I went to the grocery store yesterday and got most of the ingredients. On the way home from work today I stopped at Whole Foods for the scallops and some French wine. Then came home to begin on my romantic dinner for two.

While the scallops were searing, I lit the candles in my Waterford Crystal candleholders, poured a glass of French red and set the table for one. I served myself and then sat down to eat with classical music playing in the background.

It was delicious! I even forgot to mix in the ginger and shallots (they were in a reserve bowl - oops). I did think to myself in the middle of my meal (at least I didn't talk to myself), that the ginger and shallots really added something to the meal! (Refer back to the lyrics that say are you smart).

I don't think I could have gotten a better dinner if I had gone out. Unless George Clooney had knocked on the door. Then those scallops would have been tossed to the wayside faster you can say "George Clooney".

Was it a goofy idea? Maybe to some. I did laugh my way through most of it - sitting by myself in candlelight. But now I can say that I have had a candlelit dinner for two (I've saved half for lunch tomorrow - my apologies now to the WE staff if it smells fishy) with romantic music playing in the background.

Erma Bombeck (I think) said to never wait until "someday" because someday may never come. Maybe I'm learning that lesson in a very hard and painful way, but I'm so glad that I'm learning.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's a Wonderful Life

It's a Wonderful Life is my favorite movie. It reminds me of how important family and friends are in our life. It reminds me that we each have a guardian angel looking out for us, reminding us of just how wonderful our life really is.


We all have a "George Bailey." That one person who makes our life complete. The one person we who helped make us into the person we are. We all have a Clarence too. An angel that watches out for us and helps to see just how wonderful we are.

My George is about to become my Clarence. I'm inconsolable about it.

I have been fortunate enough to call Charlie Lyle my best friend for more than 20 years. Who'd have thought that day I walked into the Broward Community College South Campus Student Life Office that my life would be altered forever. Never have I had a bigger cheerleader, encourager, supporter, and playmate.


Memories have been flooding back the past few days: our stupid Fashion Center game where we tried to out store name each other; the only shouting match we ever had in the parking lot of the Rustic Inn; watching Leon Lett slide through the snow; "It's like being home in the trailer park"; his months in Umatilla; his little white Escort; the truck that talked; the laughter ; when he held my hand when I was in more pain than I thought I could bear.

Who's going to hold my hand through this? I don't know what I'm going to do without my best friend.

Oh I know he'll be here. He's going to be my Clarence. He's still going to laugh at me when I do something stupid, he's going to whisper words of confidence in my ear when I don't believe in myself. He'll be there every morning when I wake up, every night when I go to bed and every second in between.

My loss is nothing compared to his family's loss. He's going to be a very busy Clarence. There's a lot of us he's got to look out for. I know he'll get it done. He gets everything done. He's never let anyone down.

Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. "George" you got yours a long time ago. I love you.

Girlfriends are the Best!!!!

For years I was "just one of the guys." I spent the best part of my college years playing fooseball and pool and drinking beer with the guys. Those were the best years of my life.

Tonight though I am thankful for my girlfriends. It was a sucky day. Things didn't go the way I planned and I was mad about that. Unfortunately for my friend Laura, she called right in the middle of my personal stewing and was dealt the brunt of my frustration (it had nothing to do with her).

Even though I was not on my planned schedule I did follow through with one of my plans and went to the gym. After a great workout, I called Laura and apologized for lashing out at her. She's so good, because she said "Oh I didn't think you did that at all." We then talked for thirty more minutes about "stuff" and realized that we're really pretty normal.

After eating dinner, I saw some interesting information on Facebook. I knew I had to call my friend Deanna to confirm what I read. (Deanna and I worked together for two years, and she's one of the best teachers I know.) I talked and laughed with her for half an hour too, as she shared insights about her "normal" family and the invention of the "cup," among other things.

Then my friend Pam called from Colorado. We had a great time gossiping and solving "the world's" problems. If we ran the world, everything would be A-okay! But we really don't want to run the world we're just happy being cogs in the machine.

It is because of these three friends that my day has done a complete 180. I am so thankful that I have them and others who will listen to me bitch, laugh with me and tell me where the best pizza in the world is. I love my guy friends, but they would have been done the minute I started bitching and would never have lasted 30 minutes on the phone.

Now girls - who wants to play fooseball?

Thumbs Up

Happy 2011!!!!

I've got a notebook called "100 Things to Do in My Life" - it has 61 things in it, but that's okay because I can still add to it.

Number 19 is "Host Fabulous Parties." I've put this off for some time because I live in an apartment and thought it would be too small for a fabulous party. But if I learned anything in 2011 it's that life it too short, so I decided to have a small fabulous party. I'd make pulled pork, baked beans, macaroni and cheese and cola cake! I was so excited!!!

I got up early on New Year's Eve, went shopping and cleaned most of the day. Yesterdy (New Year's Day), I got up early to put the finishing touches on the party set up. I had a timeline all mapped out in my head. 12:00 the pork was going in the oven. Well, the best laid plans . . .

I had to run to the store for more paprika for the rub, so I was off to a late start. It was fine though, because I knew this would be good pork!!!! I got the rub mixed, got the cutting board out, started cutting the fat off and sliced right across my thumb!!!!!

So many people told me it was a horrible way to start my year, but all I could do was laugh! Rub and blood!!!! I did manage to get the rub on the pork and the pork in the oven. And I am very thankful for my friend Patrica who came over to sit with the pork and straighten up while I was at Primacare.

In the end, things turned out fabulously!!!! And if this is the worst thing that happens to my in 2011 then it will be a great year!!!!

So Thumbs Up to 2011!!!!!

My mom

I'm recently back from spending three weeks in Florida with my family. I had a great time! I'm so lucky to have a wonderful family, even when I don't always appreciate them all the time (do any of us?).

My mom and I drank together, laughed together until we cried, went shopping, watched "In the Line of Fire" and recited the lines word for word for the umpteenth time, and so many other things.

Unbelievably after three weeks, for the first time in five years, I wasn't ready to leave. I was sad to leave. I was going to miss spending time with my mom. Who would shop with me or laugh with me when I got home? Sure I have friends here but it's not the same as having my best friend.

All my life I wanted to be just like my mom. When I was little, I played house like nobody's business. I remember saying once that when I grew up I wanted to be a housewife, because that's what my mom did. Even now at 40, I strive to be like her. I make crafty things at Christmas like she does. I shop for bargains (most of the time), I say what's on my mind because that's what she does (always in a kind way). I still to try to play tennis, because she did (I started at7 or 8). I pray to Mary, because that's what she did. My mom made me everything I am today.

Today I was cleaning out my place - "cleaning like mom" I say because I throw a lot out or put it in a bag for Goodwill. While cleaning I came across a letter she wrote me almost 25 years ago when I was getting ready to go on a retreat. In it she wrote that she wanted for me all of the things she never had.

How funny, all of these years, I wanted to be her and she wanted to be me. . .